Family Christmas

My Dad’s side of the family gets together every year on the weekend before Christmas for an afternoon of visiting and dinner together. I believe this tradition started when I was very small.

My grandparents used to host a dinner on Christmas day. As our family grew in numbers, it became evident that a sit down meal was far too much work for my grandparents. They started having a potluck Family Christmas the weekend before Christmas at each of their kid’s homes. Each of their four kids took turns hosting. My grandparents would spend Christmas with one of their four children.

Now that my cousins have had children, our numbers have grown again. My parent’s generation have switched up the format to allow for our ever increasing family. For years we met in the homes of my parents & aunts & uncles. We now meet at a hotel or in a social room and have a catered meal.

This year was my Aunt Nancy’s turn to host. We had a catered meal in her building social room. It was the perfect setting for a get together. My compliments go to the chef on a lovely meal. Thank you to Aunt Nancy for all of the work she did to make Family Christmas happen.

Because everybody does not live close by, I only see some cousins once a year at our Family Christmas. It is nice to catch up with cousins I have not seen or talked to in a while.

It took a while for the little kids to warm up to one another, but soon they were like old friends. It’s amazing what a few toys and creative imaginations will do for little kids. Our two youngest members seemed to enjoy themselves. I am sure everyone slept well, after all that activity.

Everybody exchanges cards and good wishes for the New Year. When my Grandma moved out of the family home and into a retirement home, my Auntie Barb gathered up Grandma’s recipe box and created a cook book of favourite recipes. Since then, we add to our book of recipes each year and Auntie Barb gives each child & grandchild a booklet of new recipes.

I love traditions. Family Christmas is an ever evolving tradition. I hope that Family Christmas continues for a long, long time. I think it is a testament to the children my grandparents raised, that we have not let other things get in the way of getting together with family. It is also a testament to the people the McIntyre kids married. Events like this don’t just happen. It takes planning and hard work to pull it off.

I never met my Grandpa McIntyre, but from what I hear, he was a great person and the epitome of what you imagine a Grandpa to be. I know he and Grandma would be proud of their family. I am sure that my Grandparents & my Uncle Bruce look in on us from time to time and smile at the family we’ve become. I am so proud of what we have become.

As I write this I am looking at a picture of me, sitting with Grandma at her kitchen table. I am about eight or nine years old. We both have smiles on our faces. Grandma always knew how to make her grandkids smile.

Smiles for miles...

Smiles for miles...
I tend to be a very smiley person. One day last Spring a man in our building held the back door open for me. I smiled & said thank you.

He responded by saying, ‘You don’t know what a smile can do for a person’. I don’t know his name, but from that day forward, I made a concerted effort to smile at people in our building.

I will often say hello or a casual greeting in the hallways of our building. A smile will often put people at ease, if they are unsure of my abilities because I am in a wheelchair.

That man’s comment about how much a smile can do for another person, really made me think. You never know what someone else is going through when you see them in the hall or elevator. I do not want people to tell me all of their troubles, but if a smile helps to brighten a person’s day, I will smile from ear to ear.

You never know when you might be the person who needs a smile, so give a little smile now & then.

The Power of a Hug

Every time I see my niece, I ask her for a hug, knowing full well she may not respond. She is fourteen and a half months old now and changing all of the time. The other day, I asked her for a hug & she gave me one. She looked up at me and smiled. She made my day.

She has not done it again since, but I continue to ask her for a hug every time I see her.

WRITER'S BLOCK

I have been struggling with what topics to write about for a few days now.
I think my writer’s block has left for the time being. I know I need to focus & define what my blog is about.

Quite a few people have sent me blogs that they follow & I appreciate that. Seeing other people’s blogs gives me a reference point. If there is a topic that you would like me to write about or discuss, feel free to let me know.

The world of blogs continues to grow right before my eyes.

Is there something written on my forehead?

No matter where I go, someone tells me more information than I need or want to know. I tend to be a very intuitive person, but sometimes I wonder if I have ‘Tell me all your problems,’ written across my forehead. Once I make eye contact, the verbal diarrhea begins.

The other day I had a doctor’s appointment. This particular doctor sees patients at the hospital. I registered and filled out the paperwork and found myself in a waiting room. I had already sized up the other people in the waiting room and knew that the one lady seemed quite chatty. A pleasant hello or goodbye is fine by me. If people do not speak, it can sometimes be interpreted as rude.

I tried to not make eye contact with the chatty lady, thinking maybe I could avoid hearing about her ailments, both new & old. A nurse came to the door and paused. I knew I was not next, but with any luck, the chatty lady would get called in. Another lady got up and followed the nurse to her room. Now it was my Mom & I and ‘Chatty Cathy’.

Sure enough the lady looked at my Mom & I and started to unload her medical issues. She talked about herself and how another hospital screwed up her health. I wanted to say, ‘You’re a big girl, suck it up and take responsibility for your life,’ but instead I smiled and nodded my head.

I think because I use a wheelchair, some people assume that I would be sympathetic to their own medical issues. Other people take the opposite approach and ask me why I use a wheelchair. First, I don’t want to hear your problems. Second, I just want to be treated as if the chair were not there.

When will people learn that just because I like psychology, it doesn’t mean I want to use my skills all the time? It is called therapy and it does work, but only if you go and listen to what the doctor says.

MARK DAILEY

Recently a great man passed away. Mark Dailey was an award winning news anchor in Toronto for over thirty years. City TV lost a family member. For years Mark Dailey has been the voice of reason, bringing the top news stories of the day to life in living rooms across Canada. He put City TV on the map with the slogan, ‘City TV Everywhere’.

My parents & I often watch the news during dinner. Mark was always a welcome member at our dinner table. I did not know him, as anyone other than a news anchor, but I felt as though I did. No matter whom his co-anchor, was, Mark always made the other person laugh at some point during the broadcast.

He will be dearly missed at our house & across Canada and the United States.

HEY NEIGHBOUR...

What makes someone a neighbour? Is it simply proximity? A few years ago, I likely would have said that a neighbour was someone who lived on your street, or at the very least, lived in the same city.

Personally, I think that there is much more to being a neighbour than proximity. Being a neighbour involves more than a quick hello now & then. A neighbour is someone who will walk beside you in every kind of weather, with no questions asked.

When I lived in the house where I grew up, there was a happy atmosphere. When we moved, I wanted to bring our neighbours with us. Proximity made it easy to call them neighbours, but they were and continue to be our friends.

Whether you live next door, down the street, across town, a thirty minute drive away, or at opposite ends of the country, we are all interconnected. With technology being what it is today, it is easy to stay in touch with people you have come to know along life’s journey.

A Goodbye Tear

Last Thursday, I went to see my neurologist. I’ve been seeing this particular doctor since I was fifteen years old. Over the years, he & I have developed a relationship of mutual respect & admiration.

I knew that this appointment with him would be my last. For so long I had been seeing him once or twice a year with periodic update emails in between. I knew this didn’t mean goodbye, but it was still hard for me.

I feel so lucky that I have been blessed with such caring doctors, nurses & other medical support staff. I have always been treated as though I were a member of their own family. I have always known that they are an email or a phone call away, if I needed them.

To say he went above & beyond his job requirements is an understatement. I’ve had many crazy ideas about my future. He always listened & knew just what to say. The future has come and now it is time to make my ideas a reality.

I am honoured to count this doctor as a friend of mine. Although he is no longer captain of my medical care, he always has my back. It puts me at ease, knowing that he is there for me.

Hey Junior...

This past week I went shopping at a mall. I am finding that the stores that used to be my staple stores are not doing it for me anymore. The music is so loud. It never really bothered me before this year, but all of a sudden, I need to move forward and find new stores. Perhaps it has to do with age. If I do go into a previous staple store, I have to look at hoodies or sweaters that are extra large. I should not be wearing extra large clothing, but it is what fits me. I am thinking some of my favourite stores are for juniors. I am beyond being a junior. I gave the junior stores a good run, but it is time to move on.

IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS...

It’s nearly time to put the tree up and decorate the house for Christmas. It will be our second Christmas in our condo. There are things about our house that I miss and probably always will. I miss looking out our front window and seeing our neighbours Christmas lights. Don’t get me wrong, I love our condo and I am happy we moved here, I am just being sentimental.

It is a time for new traditions. This year my niece will be more aware of the Christmas happenings. She’ll be up and running on her feet. It will be fun to see Christmas through her eyes.

I love that I still get a Christmas stocking. If you don’t know already, I don’t like change. I am a sucker for tradition. Christmas is my favourite time of year, but I like things to stay the same each year. I know that is not realistic to think that nothing will change. Accepting change is a work in progress.

Family & friends exchange cards with season’s greetings. There are presents in boxes and gift bags under the tree. Christmas is a time for giving.  As I grow older, I take my time to think about what would truly make a person happy, before I buy a gift for them. I am thrilled when I see a person’s face light up after opening a gift from me.

                                                                                           

It’s time to dust off the Christmas movies and start watching. My absolute must watch is ‘Christmas Vacation’. When my extended family gets together, there is often a reference made to some part of this movie. I could watch Christmas Vacation two or three times and still laugh. Another good Christmas movie is ‘A Christmas Story’. That whole family makes me laugh. Christmas movies are one of my favourite things.

The malls are starting to fill up with shoppers. Everyone is trying to finish their shopping early. I plan to get my shopping done early, but know there will be some last minute trips to the mall for a forgotten item. I may try and do some online shopping and avoid the crowds and lines altogether.

AND THEN THERE WAS CAKE...

There are some things that are a must do for birthdays. For each birthday, the birthday person gets to choose the kind of cake or dessert they want to have. Long before I was born, my Mom bought a banana cake mix and followed a recipe for peanut butter icing. It was a hit with everyone.

Now many years later, banana cake mix is hard to find, so my Dad found a recipe for banana cake (not bread). The recipe tasted great. The odd time we’ve found banana cake mix in the States and stocked up.

I love to lick the beaters after the icing is done. When my brothers and I were smaller it was always a contest to see who got to lick the beaters if it wasn’t one of our birthdays.

Long live our beloved cake.

GETTING OLDER

All my life, I have wanted to be older. I always wanted to be like my older brothers. When I was a toddler, I wanted to go to preschool. As a preschooler, I wanted to be an elementary school student. In eighth grade, I wanted to be a teenager. Once I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to be nineteen. Nineteen is the gateway to adulthood. After that, the years seem to go by so quickly.

Today I start my twenty-ninth year and I am in a good place. I am surrounded by friends and family. I have noticed that as I get older my older brothers and I seem to grow closer in age. I will always be the little sister, just an older little sister.

Comfort is

A few weeks ago, I experienced true relaxation. I had a massage. Somewhere between lying down on the massage table and sitting up, I lost the ability to speak. I hovered in the space between sleep and wakefulness. It was pure heaven. I had never had a massage before. The idea of someone else rubbing my back, kind of freaked me out. I did not want to get hurt by having a massage. I could not have been more wrong. Long after the massage was over, I continued to feel fabulous.

Comfort is a bite of warm apple pie hitting the back of your throat. The taste of cinnamon lingers on your taste buds for a moment. To me the smell of hot apple pie reminds me of my Grandma. Grandma’s apple pie was a warm and cozy Fall treat.

Happiness is...

Happiness is an ever changing thought throughout life. I am slowly realising that happiness comes in many forms. Part of the excitement of life, is discovering true happiness. When a child is little, happiness can be as simple as a hug from Mommy or Daddy. The moment when a child finally unlocks the key to reading is a proud moment for the parents and child.

As I watch my thirteen month old niece navigate the world on two feet, I see that happiness is in the moment. When she walks across the room, she stops to clap and squeal with extreme joy. What a great feeling of accomplishment she must have in that moment. Everyone in the room also exudes happiness. Who knew that three or four steps could bring smiles to the faces of so many people?

When I graduated from university, my family & I were so excited we had tears in our eyes. It took me a long time to finish my degree, so when I got to the end, it was that much more special. Happiness means something different to each person.

Life

To say that my life has not gone the way I envisioned it would, would be an understatement. I have a neurological disorder and a back problem. These two things combined, mean that I now have to use a wheelchair. A wheelchair was definitely not in my plans for the future, but life had other plans for me.

I am learning that different does not necessarily mean something bad. If everything in life was easy and I never had to veer off my original path, life would not be as interesting. I am learning to work within my abilities and not worry about what I cannot do. It would be easy to stop trying, but it just is not in me to give up.

Since I was fifteen, I have wanted to be a child life specialist. Being a child life specialist requires that the applicant have some physical capabilities. Being in a wheelchair limits what I am physically able to do, so I have had to alter my plans for the future.

I still want to work with children in some capacity, whether it is by volunteering, or as part of a job. Whatever happens, I want to continue to write in some form.