Saturday, June 2, 2012

Fourteen years ago...


Today is June 2nd, 2012. To others it may be just another day, but to me it is anniversary of sorts. Fourteen years ago today, I had back surgery to correct the curve in my spine.

In the years since my surgery, I have not let anything keep me down. Sure, I now use a wheelchair to get around, but I do not let it define who I am as a person. My wheelchair is a tool to allow me to see the world around me.

I have accomplished a lot in the previous fourteen years. I finished high school and went on to university. I lived in a brand new residence my first year. Living in residence made sense for me. I got to experience campus life and make lots of new friends. I had the best roommate I could have ever hoped for! My best friend went to the same university, so I had a sense home without being home.

I graduated from Brock University. I didn’t graduate in the normal time span, but who defines normal anyway?

I have the same best friend as I did in high school and university. My university roommate is still a good friend of mine.

I choose to look at my accomplishments, rather than what I could have done.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Digital Footprint


Life is precious.

When someone close to you passes on it is always hard to make sense of life.

Why? That question runs through my head. I am not sure why my friend had to pass on. I will never know.

Due to modern technology, we are left a digital footprint of the person we lost. There are emails to read, as if they arrived in your inbox moments before you turned on your computer. There are photographs to thumb through on a rainy day.

Some people do not like Facebook. I think it is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family. When a friend passes on, their account becomes a gathering place for people who love and miss the deceased person.

If the person happened to be a blogger, then you are left with countless posts for you and the world to read. A writer will also have left countless works behind for others to enjoy.

If the person has a playlist of their favourite songs, people close to them can enjoy the music for years to come.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Did you ever know that...

You’re my hero!

This song was sung at Laura’s funeral. It was beautiful. Tears ran down my cheeks and dripped onto my shirt. It shouldn’t be this way. She was thirty one years old.

Last week, the world lost the fabulous Laura Rocca. She was many things to many people. Laura was a daughter, granddaughter sister, niece, cousin, partner and friend. The speakers at her funeral talked about Laura’s many talents. She was also an actress, director, artist, vegan expert, cooking guru, fundraiser and student.

Laura came into my life nearly ten years ago. My brother Drew married Laura’s cousin Marisa. On top of this family connection, my Dad has known Laura’s Dad for many years before the wedding.

I saw Laura at various family gatherings. We would talk and share stories of our life happenings at the time. There was always plenty of food at these family functions. One particular time, the kids table had moved to the family room at the Rocca house. We had pulled out photo albums and were remarking on how people and fashion had changed. Laughter ensued.

Somehow we got on the topic of marriage. The question was asked, “Which celebrity would you marry?” Most of the girls answered with names like Orlando Bloom, Jude Law, or Colin Firth.

I was silent for a while and then I said, “I would marry Jim Belushi because he is cute and real”. Everyone laughed. I have never lived that moment down.

Later that month, I had back surgery. Laura made me a get well card from Jim Belushi, complete with a note as to why he couldn’t visit me in the hospital. The thought of that moment, makes me laugh.

A few days after I was released from the hospital, Laura came over with a movie and treats. Even though she was undergoing radiation at the time, she had a smile on her face. The clock struck 10:00PM and we called it a night. It was a perfect evening. Neither one of us had to feel guilty about ending our visit early because we were both tired.

Laura has made me think about things I may not have initially thought of. Her love for nature made everyone around her think about the environment. Laura was a vegan expert. I think being vegan is definitely a healthy way to live. I am not vegan, but am conscious of what I put in my body. I eat hormone free cheese, and nitrate free deli meat.

Laura loved animals. She and her partner Robin were dog owners. Auden is a tail wagging delight. Auden seemed to know just what they needed.

When Laura started dating her partner Robin, there was an extra wide smile on her face. She rarely went without a smile. Robin and Laura travelled to lots of interesting places together.

This blog was started in 2010 at the encouragement of several family members, Laura being one. She had written me an email with several links to websites that welcome guest bloggers. Laura had a blog that I followed. She had been a guest blogger several times and I always admired her posts. Writing my own blog would mean sharing my feelings and inner most thoughts, something I was not accustomed to doing. Gradually I was able to open up. It was a freeing moment. Even if nobody ever read my blog, I had put my words out into cyberspace.

For health reasons, I now use a wheelchair. Laura never thought twice about it. That’s just how she was, accepting. In an email one time she said, “I really hope that one day they find a cure for cancer and Friedreich’s Ataxia”. I had not said the name of my disease to many people. Laura knew that I have Friedreich’s Ataxia and had never asked any questions. I was grateful for her understanding and support. We tried not to talk about anything medical. We felt like normal young adults.

I will remember Laura, now and always.

I love you now and forever Laura.